2. You will give up asking why one bike isn’t enough

There’s only so many times you can take a withering look and a dismissive shake of the head.

3. They will force you to try it

“Come on, it’ll be great!” Prepare for a four hour trudge through the mud in the rain. Be aware that they will worry about the bike more than you if you crash.

6. Fifty per cent of their pay cheque will be spent on bike bits

Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

7. You will not see them in summer

Between evening rides, big weekend days out and that holiday to the Alps you probably won’t be seeing much of your partner in the summer. Just hope you don’t get one that likes night riding in the winter too.

8. Holidays will involve at least one mandatory day of riding

What’s the point in going abroad if you can’t sample the trails?

9. You’ll have to pick them up from hospital at some point

At least they’ll have some gnarly scars to show off

13. They’ll be a keeper

Fit, healthy, funny, attractive, great drinkers, sociable, fashionable. Despite all their flaws, there’s lots to love about mountain bikers.