Tell us a bit about your race (and how many times you felt like throwing up, how many fights you nearly had, how many girls came past you, etc.).
I did alright, I think…29th out of 75. It was every bit as brutal as you and Jon Chickens said it would be and I think that hell would be an eternal cyclo–cross race. ‘Relentless’ is a fine adjective but it’s relentless in so many different ways: physically because you’re hovering around or exceeding your natural skill and endurance limit for an hour, mentally because you despise everyone who passes you on an ascent and shock yourself at your depths of schadenfreude as you make it back on the descents, and finally redemption when it’s over and you’re all one big happy family. You are somehow a brother/sisterhood because you’ve just done this ridiculous thing together. I’ve decided I prefer racing other people rather than a clock. To answer the other part of your question, I’m pretty sure she was a pro.
There are lots of really good cyclo–cross race leagues from tip to toe of the U.K. Would you consider entering another?I already have! Turns out there’s a massive London League and the next race is near my In–laws. I’ve roped in a fair few of the S.E. Raggers too who are now busy converting their commuter bikes and searching for Fangos. Knowing about these leagues, these freaky bikes and these hardcore scenesters reminds me of when Nick Hamilton (of ThisIsSheffield fame) introduced a load of us to Cycle Speedway. It’s humbling too because both have got more history and structure than our new–kid–on–the–block side of riding has.
Right, we’re in the local bike shop and there’s a bunch of mountainbike riders taking the piss out of your newly shaven (or waxed) legs, drop bars and skinny tyres. What you going to say to them?Like SPDs, it’s never gonna happen, Butch. If they persist though I’ll do one of two things: either put the sport in a context they understand or challenge them to a race across London and any number of it’s parks because there’s nothing in this city that the Jake can’t handle, and that includes going both ways on stairs.
THANK YOU’S (from the Butcher)Big thanks to my pit–man, big Dave Mole, for encouraging me every lap…even though I kept spitting at him. My mom, her dog, my wife and kids (for telling me each lap how good I was doing even though I knew it wasn’t true). Thanks to Laura at Rapha for putting such a ‘cool’ event on. There was Belgian beer, waffle stands, bike stands and a mobile cafe. Then lovely Laura even had the vision for a foam machine and tequila short cut for the fun race. Thanks to the spectators for never getting sick of ringing their cow bells for every rider, whether fast or slow, lap after lap. Thanks to the waffle man for putting extra sugar and lemon on my post race pancake. Thanks to Andy at 2PURE for telling me what an idiot I was for doing it. Thanks to Stu King from Madison for coming to watch (not to encourage me, but to laugh at my lycra). Thanks to Duncan Philpott (photographer) for not getting the ‘all important’ portrait shot of me looking exhausted (and I truly was) when I crossed the finishing line…you’re fired. Our lord, Jesus Christ, for delivering me from evil, supplying women with breast milk and not holy water (but blessing me with a pre–race stinking cold). Finally, to Mike Rose, editor, for suggesting I do it. I’m watching your every move Rosie and just when you are least expecting it (think horse’s head in bed)…
Dirt would like to thank the crew at Rapha, and give huge thanks to Brian and his team at The Cycle Jersey (www.thecyclejersey.com). They will make you any type of jersey you like…lycra, baggy MX…whatever you want. Massive thanks to Ben and the guys at Kona for the lend of the bike, and to Paligap for the tyres. Cheers to you all. Oh and of course thanks to Rod and Butch for taking on the challenge!
