Dirt columist Seb Kemp gives us his take on the Kokanee Crankworx festival with his 5-a-day supplement.

Genius marketing idea number 2 – replace a bucking bronco with a large replica of a razor shaver…WTF?

This ones for the ladies, or the boys…After trying to earn his own kind of rainbow stripes in the hot tub the night previous, JT Huck needed to cool off and get away from the craziness of Crankworx so donned his wet suit and went soul searching in the glacial waters of Green Lake.

There hasnt been much going on the last day or so apart from some ladies sending it to flat so it was about time to go looking around all the trade stands that have popped up in the village. The one pictured here is the Croc Shoe “Chill Out Zone” where in a genius move of branding and marketing have set up a tent full of bean bags in the middle of the village, so when the hectic lifestyle of Whistler is starting to get you down then you can go chill out there and you will forever hold Croc Shoes responsible for you restored sanity. Where the fuck do they think they are Baghdad or Calcutta? Its bloody Whistler for christ sakes, if people were anymore laid back they wouldn’t bother breathing. However the worst thing about this thing is that they have set up a sound system that plays Jack fucking Johnston all day long and its set up right outside my favourite coffee shop. I guess i wont be drinking much coffee this week and ill have to make do with the truck loads of Monster energy drink they are handing out around town.

Theres a couple big bike brands that are showing off their 09 range. Its half way through 08 and already we are having the newer, better, improved versions of the bikes we just spend thousands of pennies on waved in front of our noses. Even if you bought a brand new bike last week it instantly becomes like, so last year.

Ever since Sam Hill proclaimed on the finish line of the Garbo race that his shoe fell off and thats why he was late to his own party there has been alot of excuses flying around town. However when my good buddy Adam Mantle (AKA the Hoff of the Foam Pit) was asked what his excuse for dressing like the White Power Ranger was he was at an absolute lose for a credible excuse.

Crankworx 5-a-day