The One who’s been to Whistler

… and won’t shut up about it. A two-week holiday to Canada and they think they’re God’s gift to mountain biking. They went to Crankworx, they rode with some pros, they hit Crabapple Hits and they now refuse to believe any riding ever can be as good.

Most likely to say: “Riding in the UK just isn’t the same after you’ve been to Whistler”

The Newcomer

They’ve never been to the park before and are feeling a bit nervous about hitting it blind. They’ll ask for a detailed description of each track and take a quick walk down the first 50 metres before they hit it.

Most likely to say: “Is it rollable?”

The gear geek

They’ll spend the whole journey looking out of the back window commenting on your set up. Expect them to critique your tyres, saddle, drivetrain… well, anything really. If you want to chat about anything other than bikes then don’t sit next to this guy. They’ve read all the mags and websites and are ready to pass on that knowledge to you.

Having said that, they’re the most likely to be able to fix your bike when you fuck it up, so keep them on side.

Most likely to say: “So, how come you decided to fit a 2.25 today?”

The stylish one

It’s the wettest day all year and the trails are boggier than Shreks’ swamp, but their kit is gleaming, immaculate and matching. They’ll sport the freshest Troy Lee threads that complement their frame to a tee.

Most likely to say: “Oh damn, I got grease on my shorts”

The driver

We hope so anyway!