For a 25 second mates/cake race this is the longest report I’ve ever seen in history, gordon blimey, (he didn’t race)

Conisbrough Mates Race Round 3

Us Yorkshire lads really get a buzz from the good old mates race scene…so we decided to have another one.
The line up for this race though was a bit…indifferent shall we say. The good thing is ,with the bunch of lads that ride up here,there are no “billy big timers” even though some of the lads ride nationals ect, and have and still do ride at a good level…thats just the way it is.

The line up included (and remember…i did say it was indifferent)

2x national riders

1x kid id never set eyes on before

1x who travelled 70+ miles

1x who rode it there

1x ginger

1x baldy

1x who hasnt hit puberty

1x another who had a beard at 12

1x with a new bike

1x another who has just discovered there is a benefit to having a front brake

1x who gets told off from the mrs for falling off

1x another who would just tell his mrs were to go

1x who use to wear lycra, out of choice

1x and one with a speedo….on a dh rig

you know who you are lads….

Right then…getting there at 7.30am to set up probably wasnt the best idea, because after being there for about 5 mins, the heavens opened and it wasnt looking good. And so decided to “pre warn” the lads with a text along the lines of “ayup lads, its pissing it down here”. But after sending the text, Daz (one of lads racing) rang me….” Nath! Nath! what you doing even thinking about calling the race off, im looking out of window looking right…and its banging it down, but i look to the left and its like Benidorm! just give it a chance and itll be baking in a hour” and no word of a lie…thats what he said. “ok Daz, ill give it a chance”.

An hour or so later after the track had been taped and the tent thingy was set up (yes were getting posh now) the lads arrived in force. It was clear to see that even just walking the track, today could be a fun days racing…as it was hard enough to walk up, nemind racing down it. The great thing is about mates races…know one is prepared, i.e “both brake” Richie rocking up with a set of bald Minnions…great prep. Anyway, a few of the lads pushed up the hill and had a few runs, whilst others were just stood gabbing at the bottom of the run picking there nose, and other crevices.
After the lads who wernt “scratch and sniffing” at the bottom came down the run, the condition of the track got a mixed reception “its piss wet through that!”, “god i love sliding in mud!”, “have you seen that sneaky line?”, “a you going for a few beers later?”…we had the lot.

After a while the track started to cut up badly and required some attention…out with the rakes and spades! After a bit of speedway style track grading, we though we better wait for Daz’s “Benidorm weather” to kick in. Worryingly, Daz was not far off with the prediction, and the track improved…a tad. Some of the guys looked very quick during practice with Rich Batey looking stupidly quick and smooth, Neesh “bender” also looking quick…but hanging off the back of the rig ment he couldnt get a complete smooth run in, Martin Creaser (last round winner) as always picking his lines,pedalling hard also looked like he had a chance. We all new who the top three would be, but in what order? After the three just mentioned it was just going to be a lottery for who could hold there nerve,get that elusive “smooth run” and finish in 4th position.with the normal suspects Steve Scott, Nath Smith, Phil Clarke and Neil Farmer all staking there claim, there was not going to be alot between them…would it come down to nerves?

http://mpora.com/videos/NiC6mJheV
More Mountain Biking >>

The number boards were distributed…the tie wraps given and the clippers in full action, the race runs began. With series leader Steve Scott having the number one board, and who ever else from there on.With the track still very wet it was just going to be a case of who could get down the “common” track without either hitting a tree or loosing it on the elusive berm before the new bustop. Four of the fifteen lads didnt even get a time on the first run due to all falling off…some though had solid runs including Rich Batey setting a 25.32 defying physics finding grip were he only could, so “Batey” took the early lead on the first of four runs. Everyone else were just scratching there heads trying to figure out firstly how Batey was doing it…and secondly how we could beat him. Screwdrivers, nails and one lad even trying to find a way of disqualifying him were all discussed, but nothing came of it. bearing in mind the closest man to him was more than 2 seconds of his pace already…we was getting worried. Only one rider managed to set his quickest time of the day on the first run, and that was Chris Davies on his new rig (that he is rather proud of) who set a 33.02.

Along came the second runs and Martin Creaser had other ideas about letting Rich Batey run away with it, Creaser setting a new fast time of 25.15 everyone new he had it in him. Adam Neesham also turned it on with a 25.45…so at the top there was nothing in it, but with the track getting better and better, was this going to have an effect on the lads coming down near the end? Behind the front three, there was the midfeild battle with 4 or 5 riders staking a claim with nath smith setting a 26.89 being the quickest of the rest. Steve Scott, Phil Clarke, Daz Hill and Sam Clarke all looking good on the second runs. Ian Binch, a guy whos been racing since god was a lad had still not completed a run by the end of the second runs…and at one point getting to the top of the bus stop… coming to a stop, and then proceeded to fall down the banking because who could not un clip…priceless.

By the thirds the track was completely different, really starting to dry out (ish) giving riders more confidence to pin it through the rock section and the tight berms, and the times showed it. everyone setting quick times except Nath Smith, Neil Farmer and Daz Jordan who decided to check out the wildlife…the undergrowth is coming on well.At the end of the 3rd runs the top 6 were as follows… 1st Rich Batey, 2nd Martin Creaser, 3rd Adam Neesham, 4th Steve Scott, 5th Phil Clarke ,6th Neil Farmer. The banter was in full flow before the fourth runs. We had the banter between the “mekki” lads on who was going to win that battle, we had neil farmer who started well but then faded under pressure,phil clarke giving Nath Smith some stick because he had just over taken him on the previous run and Steve Scott who was obviously quite happy with the placings so far as know one had witnessed him throw his helmet is disgust. The reel banter was at the top though…the odds were flying around the lads to who we thought may pip it. The thing is, Rich Batey is a former pro (and still could be for that matter) so obiously pressure and conditions dont really get to him, martin creaser is the “older” head who seems to always pull it out of the bag and find the smooth fast line when it matters…and finally adam “neesh bender” is fast…the only problem being can he put a run together without hitting a tree,threatening a spectator, bouncing off a rock or generally loosing his head, maybe just maybe.

Fourth runs.. 12 of the 15 riders set there quickest times, Steve Scott was first down and set his quick time but couldnt catch the top three. Fraser dales next man down knocked 2 seconds off his quickest time which would shoot him up to 8th,very well rode. Pino Tornese who last year was told he may never walk again nemind ride after a hurrendous crash which broke his leg and it was an open fracture…for you who dont no what that means, its when the bone penetrates the skin, could think of nicer things. But anyway to be back riding this quick is quality and finished in 13th. The next rider Lewis who was attending his first race managed to put a decent run together but could only creep to 14th. Sam Clarke who also rides motocross set his quickest time which pushed him to 10th knocking a second off his quickest time. Next was martin creaser who had it to win set a time of 24.29 which was good…but not good enough to take the lead, but surely second was secure? Neil farmer who had not completed his last 2 runs got it together and posted a 27.10 but was never going to trouble the top 5 with the track becoming quicker. The leader then had his turn and looked quick, only to make a mistake and Batey had blown it to set a quicker time, but was still in the lead with a 24.24. Ian “the veteran” Binch then cranked down the hill setting his quickest time but got pippted by the second man down Fraser Dales who surely must be happy with getting one over Ian. Next rider was Nath Smith who was trying his best to grab the 4th place, and hopefully see Mr Scott throw his helmet…again. Nath set a time of 25.14 which was enough to pip Steve Scott and take the 4th sport, just had to hope non of the other lads would catch him. Richie o’ Rourke was intrested in one thing…the battle of the “mekki mafia”, he set his quick time of 28.53, but it wasnt enough to take the battle as Daz Jordan the next man down won the battle just pipping both richie and Chris Davies who just didnt have the pace to keep up with him. Two riders to go and all eyes were on “neesh bender” to see if he could pip his rival Rich Batey and Creaser in order to climb two places for the win. “Neesh” missed every tree,managed to not hit a spectator miss every rock and blazed down the track to set a 24.09 which gave him the win, which he was more than happy about, even having a go at great rival batey shouting “a told ye! a told ye id have ye batey!” followed by a big “waaaaahheeyy”” from the lads, well rode Neesh.
Phil Clarke last man down lived up to being last man “down” as he binned it entering the bus stop and could only grab 6th place.

Another great days racing and we had a great laugh as always, one more round to go in the winter series (even though its summer now) and who will take the overall…the pressure is on mr scott. Id just like to thank “darky” woodward and tod peters for doing the timing and logging all the times, i think the timing lads always go unnoticed, but the races couldn’t go ahead with out them, cheers lads, much appreciated i owe you a pint. Also cheers to daz and nick for sorting trophys out and also nick for getting some race footage.And finally cheers to all lads that rocked up, no racers…no racing, cheers lads.

Nath

Race Results

1.Adam neesham 24.09
2.Rich batey 24.24
3.Martin creaser 24.29
4.Nathan smith 25.14
5.Steve scott 25.29
6.Phil clarke 26.67
7.Neil farmer 27.10
8.Fraser dales 27.80
9.Ian binch 27.98
10.Sam clarke 28.14
11.Daz jordan 28.21
12.Richie o’rourke 28.53
13.Pino tornese 29.37
14.louis fleet 30.07
15.chris davies 33.02