13 things you know if you've dated a mountain biker
We can be an acquired taste
Sure, we'd rather be spending all our time out on the trails but we suppose there's time in our life for some dating too.
So, to the lucky few who manage to score a date with a hot mountain biker here's a list of things you should know you're letting yourself in for:
1. There will be bike bits everywhere
If you're dating a mountain biker then the bike parts come as part of the deal. Sorry that's just the way it is. You should also know that they will be staying inside the house (or the garage at a very big compromise)
2. You will give up asking why one bike isn't enough
There's only so many times you can take a withering look and a dismissive shake of the head.
3. They will force you to try it
"Come on, it'll be great!" Prepare for a four hour trudge through the mud in the rain. Be aware that they will worry about the bike more than you if you crash.
4. You'll be watching a lot more mountain bike films than boxsets
Not Bad and chill anyone?
5. Their car/van will smell horrible
Unless you want to turn up to that fancy restaurant smelling of sweaty kneepads, wet shoes and oil then you should probably take a taxi.
6. Fifty per cent of their pay cheque will be spent on bike bits
Sorry, that's just the way it is.
7. You will not see them in summer
Between evening rides, big weekend days out and that holiday to the Alps you probably won't be seeing much of your partner in the summer. Just hope you don't get one that likes night riding in the winter too.
8. Holidays will involve at least one mandatory day of riding
What's the point in going abroad if you can't sample the trails?
9. You'll have to pick them up from hospital at some point
At least they'll have some gnarly scars to show off
10. They will make you watch their GoPro footage
And they will expect you to tell them how "gnarly" and "steezy" they looked too.
11. If you want a dog it will have to be a trail dog
Chihuahuas need not apply
12. Your floors will be covered in dried mud
Trust us, it gets everywhere
13. They'll be a keeper
Fit, healthy, funny, attractive, great drinkers, sociable, fashionable. Despite all their flaws, there's lots to love about mountain bikers.