Midweek Enzed Part 6 - Dirt

Mountain Biking Magazine



Midweek Enzed Part 6

It’s Winter here in the UK, it’s Summer in NZ, it’s Wednesday so it must be time for our Mid Week New Zealand news from Jimmy Carling.
(Check out the sweet helmet cam near the end…peach of a track)

Excuse the bold intro,  but I’m glad this bastard weather has finally sorted itself out. Lately we’ve been getting all four seasons in one day and it’s been driving me nuts, not too mention that irritating wind that seemed to rear it’s head every other day. The temperature dropped slightly as well, meaning at one point I had to put a hoody on. Yes I know, it was a truly horrible experience. But now… ahhh… its sunny again. It’s done the trails the world of good, things are nice and tacky in the trees, and all the trails that are in the open are dusty again.

The hub, centre of 7 mile. Here the gentlemen army receive their briefing from Graeme Cooper

Last Thursday saw round two of the League of Gentlemen take place at 7 mile with the Really Railing Rally Race. For those who haven’t been paying attention, the LoG is a fantastically fun and relaxed un-race series. Dirt columnist Seb Kemp was the brains behind it all, running the first series last summer. It proved so popular that it has continued this summer, this time with an ass load more people turning up, as the sport continues to grow down here. Cheers Seb, hopefully when you get here you’ll be proud to see how far your baby has come. Mr Kemp has also made a cunning LoG interwebbings page so those in the world without Facebook (all 6 of you), you can keep track of what’s happening. Check it out here:


Chain gang on Upper Turd. The Alliance.

So the Really Railing Rally Race (or RRRR for short) and it’s gentlemen rocked up to the hub, the centre of 7 mile, with digital watches, phones and sun dials in pocket to time themselves on. Some local bike shop employees were still hanging from their christmas works do the night before… But come on… I couldn’t name them… That would be so unprofessional… (Cough – Pang, Si, cough cough, Tom, Dan, Webbo). The RRRR consists of self timing on select trails with the eventual winner being the one with the fastest accumulative time, just like a, erm, rally race. Before driving out to seven mile, I stopped at the BP garage to get some pre-LoG food as I was ravenous. That turned out to be a bad mistake. One Big Hearty Beef Roll, Lasagne, Caramel Slice and medium sized coffee later and I was not in what you would call “race condition”. The trails we were timing ourselves on were Kachoong, Cool Runnings, Cloud Burst, Grin and Holler 1 + 2 and IB55. Participants could do the trails in any order, but I went in the order stated above. Kachoong was great, however by the end of cool runnings I was feeling a little… over full shall we say? So much so that as I came into the hub, I walked over to the bike rack and promplty threw up my post work junk food binge. Chunk chunk chunk… Mmm. Lovely.

Can’t remember if this was before of after throwing up. Lot’s of food and heavy exercise surprisingly don’t mix well.

The LoG continued on and everyone had a blast. Those who brought beers got them flowing once they had finished, and eventually we didn’t even find out who won.

This kid rocks, his name… is FRRRREDDDY!

There was lots of adding up to do which no one could be bothered to have a go at (mostly due to the fact that there were so many times from having so many riders, and also due to the fact that beer was present), so spot prizes were handed out instead. Fabien Pedemanaud took a beer for longest distance travelled to race the LoG (yep, he travelled all this way just for the un-race series… true story… maybe not). Someone took an award for something they did on one of the trails somewhere, and I can’t remember all the other spot prizes. Can I please have an award for most in depth race review of the year? Or do I get an un-award seen as it’s an un-race? Thanks to everyone who got involved and made it a fun little soiree of two wheeled pleasure. Next LoG – VLine Chainless in January.

Pang: Berm to stump pop. Nice. Oooh the guns!

That chainless race will also pass through a new and favourite trail crafted by the Alliance digging crew. One that has had a lot of effort put into it, with most of that effort aimed at keeping the trail as fresh and natural as possible. There’s a few berms here and there, mostly in the top section, but once you dive into the Sycamore woodland, it’s all nice loamy soil. The trail I’m talking about, is Turd Sandwich.

Mat Weir letting the light shine on Lower Turd with Tom Hey in tow.

It’s got pretty much everything you would want from a trail. Roots, off cambers, tight turns, wide open turns, pedally bits, unusual bits, but the best and most important part of it is the fact it flows so sweetly. It goes to show what a keen eye and correct use of a spade can do for you. It’s not about shifting tons of earth, but just placing the right amount in the right places.

A turd with a view, why not.

There’s really three main parts to Turd; Upper Turd, which links straight into Turd Sandwich, which later finishes on V Line. Then there’s Lower turd which is really a connecting trail, more than anything else, to another part of the hillside. You can bypass it and continue along V Line to the bottom, but should you choose to take the turn off into Lower Turd you’ll find it eventually comes out just below the infamous Dream Track and from there you can rail the Wynyard Express DH right to the bottom where you finish down the lake. Lower Turd has actually opened up a whole new menu of trails for those who ride around here and it’s proving extremely popular.

Have a look for yourself; Here’s a headcam of Pang from the Alliance chasing Simon Smith:

The Alliance. Anyone got a caption for this?!

So there you go. Thinking of bringing your steed on a little NZ adventure? Don’t leave here without a Turd Sandwich.

From everyone here in sunny Queenstown, Merry Christmas and happy riding.


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