70 reasons we started mountain biking - Dirt

Mountain Biking Magazine



70 reasons we started mountain biking

Things we just can't get enough of...

  1. Team sports involve co-operation with other people
  2. Our hands had too few calluses
  3. We wanted a place to show off our wheelies
  4. We wanted to get our money’s worth from the NHS
  5. It makes living in a van cool, not weird
  6. Sweet mountain Instagrams
  7. Dressing like stormtroopers makes us feel tough
  8. We wanted to speak like they do in Canada
  9. There’s not enough snow to ski in the UK
  10. We wanted to smell like sweat and rubber constantly
  11. We can pass riding down hills off as exercise
  12. We thought it would impress the opposite sex (results have been mixed)
  13. We bloody love trees
  14. We’re fed up of having two intact collar bones
  15. Uplifts are great place to meet new people
  16. How else could our dogs be called trail dogs?
  17. Pedal strikes are D.I.Y acupuncture
  18. We’re too lazy to road bike
  19. We enjoy telling people to “lean back” and “just go for it”
  20. We wanted to go to cold mountain tops in hot summer months
  21. Arm pump fulfils our innate masochism
  22. Our car footwells were too clean
  23. We wanted to show our friends Rampage videos and say “yeah, it’s a bit like that”
  24. We want sexy calves
  25. We’re too cool to ride scooters
  26. This way we can get a sprocket tattoo and it won’t be weird
  27. We love being asked “so, is it motor biking?”
  28. We’re too scared of falling on concrete to ride BMX
  29. We don’t meet enough lawyers/dentists/accountants in our day-to-day life
  30. We needed an excuse to eat burgers and cake
  31. We didn’t know you could get a train to the top of Snowdon
  32. We wanted an excuse to get geeky about soil
  33. To ensure there are year-round jobs for lift workers in the Alps
  34. We played Downhill Domination as a kid and thought, “why not?”
  35. Our finger nails constantly needed a crust of grime underneath them
  36. We couldn’t afford GoApe every time we go to a forest
  37. Hiking up mountains was too easy without pushing a 40lb bike
  38. Saying “he’s got eight inches in the rear” is funny.
  39. Gyms are boring and expensive
  40. Secretly think we’d be pretty good enduro racers if we bothered to put the fitness work in
  41. Setting up tubeless or internal cable routing is like solving a fun puzzle
  42. It’s better than watching Corrie
  43. We never really grew up
  44. What else is there to do in Wales?
  45. There’s something appealing about watching screaming Swiss men
  46. We wanted a wardrobe full of plaid shirts
  47. We saw some videos from Whistler and thought it looked easy
  48. We love entrusting our lives to carbon triangles
  49. We had too much free space in the garage
  50. We wanted to buy a toy that’s more expensive than our cars
  51. Cycling on tarmac with a destination in mind seemed too sensible
  52. We wanted to own the world’s worst smelling pair of gloves
  53. We always got picked last for football
  54. We wanted to wear baggy shorts like Fred Durst
  55. Liked cycling, hated shaving legs
  56. Shouting “do a whip” never gets old
  57. It could be a useful skill in a zombie apocalypse
  58. We enjoy meaningless debates about wheelsize/ebikes on forums
  59. We have a deep seated need to use the word “gnarly” at least once a day
  60. We love being humiliated by 14 year olds who are both faster and braver than us
  61. We wanted something to clean that wasn’t a kitchen or bathroom
  62. We like bouncing up and down in car parks
  63. The idea of an hour of suffering for five minutes of pleasure seemed justifiable
  64. We enjoy laughing at people in Lycra while simultaneously wearing Lycra under baggy shorts.
  65. We want to travel to places with no culture, infrastructure or amenities
  66. Skids aren’t just for kids
  67. We need to populate our personal YouTube channels with mediocre GoPro footage
  68. Because carbon is sexy
  69. We want to star in the next New World Disorder film

And the real reason:

70. It’s bloody fun


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