Friday Foolish Randoms

Happy April Fool’s day everybody. I’m not clever or witty enough to invent a jocular prank or ruse so I’ll just stick to posting some flotsam washed up from the World-Wide-Super-Highway-Of-Internetz.
Enjoy!!!

Nitro Circus Live – World First – Special Greg – Special Flip. It’s getting more like gymnastics everyday!

Philbert’s Phriday Photographer

Philbert has said it before and he’ll say it plenty more times in the future.

Girls and wheels really are the best things in life…I loves ‘em I do.

So when I spot a photographer who shoots girls and wheels they immediately go on my bookmark bar under “Photogs”.

When the pictures are beautifully composed, transport me into another world and make me wanna buy a bigger house with empty wall space to hang their pictures on, then they get filed under “GoodiePhotogs”.

At the moment there are less than 20 photographers in the goodie folder and this next guy is the latest to be added.

His project “It’s Better In The Wind” makes me wanna ditch everything and ride my bike forever.

Scott G Toepfer is his name…check it out…you’ll be glad you did.

www.sgtoepfer.com/

murdering fox

From Ffffound.

One of the most random vids I’ve seen for a while! Your New Zealand Wakatipu Wednesday correspondent Jimmy Carling explains all:

“A few weeks ago I heard of the plight of an old Daisy in Skippers Canyon, who had died and laid herself to rest (rather inconsideratley) right in the middle of the Skippers Canyon pack track trail that Vertigo Bikes guide their punters down. An attempt was made to shift her down a bank with some cheap and nasty cord, but she was too heavy. So the next thing I know Tim Ceci (Vertigo Big Dog) rings me u and leaves a voicemail…
“Jimmy C, how you doing, I got some beef with this cow in Skippers, I’ll give you a big pat on the back if you could mooove it, and without wanting to milk it, could you take a video and send it into Dirt? If you succeed I’ll shout the beers down the pub and we’ll get proper leathered. Does that per-suede you?”
One Tirfor winch, a bent waratah, two bloodied strops and a short video later, we had laid old Daisy to rest in the valley floor. Job done. Enjoy the vid.”

Kriss Akabussi sex stories. Click the image.I’ll say no more. Apart from. AWOOOGA!!!

Holy 36″ wheels batman!!!

Your token Friday educational post. Isn’t space AMAZING!!! (Click photo)

owl

The only bird that gets paid an owly rate.

Gymkhana Kenny from the Block losing it on a real rally stage.

From Todd Seplavy: Libian Rebel from the Beach Cruiser Division.

Lil McKell gigolo

Giraffe

Your having a Giraffe aren’t you?

Vagina

Tidy tattoo.

your song goes here

Right for today I just want song titles with “Fool” in the title.

I’ll start things off with the Stone Roses-Fools Gold…

…and the Who-Won’t Get Fooled Again.


Double brownie points for Dirt Dee. Aretha Franklin:Chain of Fools.

That’s all for this week folks, hope you have a foolish day and a super duper weekend!

x

  1. Dirty Dee
  2. Dirty Dee

    Do I get double brownie points for getting a bike part in the title too?

  3. billy

    Yip, double brownies for you Dirty Dee

  4. centrifuge

    The dead cow and laughing …, is not really funny. Next time do it with a human being. Then laugh! Classless drivel!

  5. Elmor Leonard

    awwwwight!…..

  6. Dirty Dee

    Spurred on by my double brownies, here’s some more.
    Fools rush in (from Buffalo 66)
    http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjQ2MDYyNDI4.html
    The cardigans – lovefool
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUIElvJRyNU

  7. The Night Sheep

    Do i spy a set of old Judy DHO forks on the cruiser?!
    Nerd alert ;-)

  8. timc

    Just so ya’all know jimmy carling is a top flight arborist (tree surgeon extreme).If you ever need limbs trimmed or dead cows moooooved hes ya man. A strong stomach was needed and serious rope skills were a prerequisite for shifting a half tonne heifer!!!! Thanks so much Jimmy your a good bugger!!

  9. flozza

    only in new zealand!

  10. SebLoeb

    Hmm it would seem you can’t ‘re-take till you get it right then edit together’ when you’re driving in the real world can you Kenny fron the Block?!

  11. AdamD

    once you’ve watched it, you can’t un-watch it….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kspPE9E1yGM

    bieber vs slipknot

  12. Mossy

    The Night Sheep: Thats what I thought too. Or possibly MK1 Boxxers.

  13. private_eye

    Anyone else think that 36″ bike looks a bit uncomfortable on the ‘gentleman area’?

  14. KennethRdyer

    Kriss Akabussi sex stories are definately the funniest thing I have read in a long time!!!

  15. Steve

    Justin Bieber vs. Slipknot
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kspPE9E1yGM

  16. Ben

    I had forgotten about the akanussi sex stories there hilarious !

  17. BT

    bit late but:

    fools, the temper trap –

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG5TAGCyCNk

    educated fools – rebelution

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9bcA7frGL0

  18. Dirt Diggler

    Where do i buy a 36″ wheeled bike, i want one for my wall. Awesome, i love the utter useless.

  19. centrifuge

    Gotta love class censorship! You hate the truth don’t you? Your grandmothers, fathers, mothers, children or spouses must have been or will be a … load of fun for you to … roll down into their graves. I salute you all, negative point givers, for this … . I sincerely hope you really get what I mean.

  20. chewy

    Her vagina may be beautiful, but her back is f*@ckin mingin.

  21. Jimmy Carling

    Sorry if it upset you Centrifuge, but on a serious note, it was the only way we could not only get it off the track, but away from the track so that the horrific smell wouldn’t greet you every time you pass through this section of trail. It rolled and rolled, and we filmed, so we’re going to hell for it. Ah well! Gotta laugh!

  22. timc

    jimmy….pls dont be nicely, nicely: “Centrifuge” get a F?@kin life, its a dead cow who died naturally. Not a nice thing on the trails…AND humour in any situation is a great thing!! You God fearing muppet!!

  23. centrifuge

    It’s always funny for you when non-human animals are concerned. So, this should apply to humans of any race too. Let’s laugh and roll around all the naturally dead people as it’s always good medicine. Just imagine for a moment, in the mountains or at bike parks, there is or are rider(s) down and dead, rolling them off the trail would be a hoot while laughing at how they made themselves extinct. Maybe, it would even be extra cool if it were your best buddy? Hilarious! Wouldn’t it be just so … Hilarious?

  24. Dirty Dee

    So do you buy coffins/caskets for farm animals? Do you have a funeral and memorial service for such animals? Do you heat human meat? Nah, didn’t think so… Humans and animals are not directly comparable in life or in death.

  25. centrifuge

    I do not practice speciesism.

  26. Jimmy Carling

    Get a life.

  27. Badger

    Centrifuge, If you’re into Buddhism, Jainism, Zoroastrianism or Hinduism then I can understand your bovine bother, if not then don’t have a cow man!

  28. centrifuge

    Great arguments people. I just love them. They are all too well thought out.

  29. Jimmy Carling

    Yeh what’s your beef?! You’re just milking this little dispute! I suggest you moooove on outta here!

    After the success of our first cow mission we’ve had numerous calls to shift other stranded heffers. In an attempt to do things more humanely we helicoptered them out at a mesely cost of $1000 an hour, then held funeral services for them all, each one costing just shy of $2000 (you know how those funeral directors sting ya). After the service we then laid them to rest on a bed of rose petals and sang hymns and shouted “praise the lord!”

    Hopefully our new company protocol comes as good news! Strangely enough when the service was free the calls came flooding in, since we sent the farmers the $3000 bill, the phone has gone strangely quiet. Ah well. As long as you’re happy!

    Jimmy Carling
    0800 COW FUSSERS

  30. timc

    Brilliant, internet forum bashing is such fun…..BUT Jimmy pls mind yr spelling!
    It’s “Heifers”, not Heffers. I thank you.
    The cheque is in the mail by the way and we have problem with a dead “Ewe” now…….there must be milage in this one too!!!! haha

  31. sulley

    “My vagina is beautiful”….., maybe, but why the fcuk colour it blue…..?

    As for the mooooooving story, PSML :)

  32. Cord

    I had a dead fly on my windscreen, but i’m no heartless, laughing, dissrespectful, animal mover. I simply slowed to 10mph, instantly becoming a funeral procession, upon reaching my destination i blessed the vehicle, set it alight. My bluebottle now had it’s own pyre. All animals deserve dignity in death. Like the great man “centrifuge” said, non-human animals (WTF???) have feelings to.

  33. Jimmy Carling

    With standards like that Cord, I’ll give you a job! Good work!

  34. centrifuge

    Lynch mobsters, You are all on the right side of the collective dysfunctional public hoard conscience with your predetermined … . You profess so uncouthly death, happiness, division, hatred and justice in one pathetic utterance as you feel so ever connected and accepted by the others and their horrendous plastic standards spoon fed to you. All I see in you is lost. You ruin biking and life in general. I have a dream! I have a dream, were equality means equality! P.S. I was going to buy a Dirt magazine subscription, but with their negative participation and the general temperature of this internet audience you can kiss my money goodbye.

  35. Dave James

    Centrifuge must be still on the april fools.. ha ha..

  36. centrifuge

    Nope, just testing the bigoted, jingoistic, practicer of speciesism poll! You all are doing so incredibly well!

  37. Randy

    Can we get Centrifuge his own column in Dirt? I haven’t laughed so hard in ages!

X

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